A Month of Thanks Day 2

I have been truly blessed with many friends over my lifetime thus far.  I wish I could name each and every one and list the many ways in which they have blessed my life.  In doing so, I would invariably leave off someone and I just couldn't do that.  So I am going to speak in generalizations.

I have friends with whom I have recently reconnected with from way back in my past, all the way back to middle school days!  I have so enjoyed catching up and seeing what they are up to these days and where their lives have taken them.  They have brought me a sense of "home" with all the memories they bring.  I am thankful for that look in the mirror to see just how far I have come.  Plus the whole feeling like a young girl again...kind of nice!

I have friends who I can count on to tell me the truth.  They will listen to me and console me and when they think I am ready to listen, whether I think I am or not, they will tell me the truth.  How I cherish those friends.  It takes a lot of guts to do that with a friend.  I am so glad they feel safe enough with me to take that chance.  Often in my life, a friend has stepped forward to speak the truth and has helped me from taking fatal steps in the wrong direction.  I am grateful.

I have friends who make me laugh.  I don't mean chuckle.  I mean squeeze your legs together or you will pee laughter.  The laugh that comes from deep in your belly and soul and cleanses.  I meet with three of these women once a month.  But there are others as well.  Thank you for helping keep my sense of humor when I have lost sight of it myself.

I have friends who have loved me through some pretty unloveable times.  I have had moments in my life where I was not the friend I should have been, have been too consumed with my own drama to see yours, yet you stayed by my side.  You waited, silently, with words of love every once in a while to remind me you were still here.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.  You know who you are.

I have friends that I don't see regularly.  In fact, rarely at all.  Yet there is a sister-soul bond that unites us.  When we do see each other or talk on the phone it is as if no time has passed.  You know me better than I know myself at times.  You love me for who I am not what I do.  I know that each of you is on the other end of the phone, and all I have to do is pick it up and you will be there.  That is such a safe feeling.  How blessed I am.

I have friends who push me.  They see my potential when I don't and they push me to step out of my comfort zone.  When I fall, they are there, and when I succeed, they are cheering the loudest.  I so appreciate you.

I have friends who are just a safe place to go.  In their hugs I feel the worries of the world melt away, much like when I am in my mom's arms.  I know I am safe to say whatever I need to.  I know I can cuss, cry, yell or whatever and you will not look down on me, judge me, or be offended by me.  You will just love me.

I am truly a blessed woman today.  Thinking about all of you has made me lonesome for each one of you.  I wish I could fly you all here and spend a week with each one of you.  But alas, I cannot.  So feel my warm hug, hear my loud cackle, and know in your soul, I love you.

Now it is your turn.  Tell me about a friend who has blessed your life.  I just love stories!!

November - A Month of Thanks

I did many things right in raising my children.  But I do have regrets.  One of those regrets is not putting more emphasis on Thanksgiving.  I wish I had spent some time adopting traditions around this holiday like I did Christmas.  It is probably too late with my kids, but not too late for me and Jack.  I will be sharing what new traditions we come up with this month.

I would like to post this month about things/people/places that I am grateful for.  I would like to spend some time really expressing that thanks.  For really, I am truly blessed and have many, many things to be grateful for.  So we will start today.

On Mondays it always strikes me how lucky I am.  See, Mondays are my "Home Day"  I clean the kitchen well, sometimes even mop~gasp~, vacuum, dust, change sheets, do laundry, clean bathrooms and any other cleaning chores I have.  By having all day Monday to do this, I can spend my weekend with my family, and I am not mad at them for not helping me.  They are busy on Mondays, and not around.  I get annoyed when I am busy and people are laying around.  This way, I am happy.  I am getting my house organized and clean which really brings me joy!

This blessing came at great cost to me.  I love having time to do what I need to do.  But the flip side of that is that I can no longer do what I love, what I was born to do, what I am quite gifted at doing - teaching.  Isn't that often the case with blessings?  They often come at a price.  I guess, we eventually see the blessing in that cost.  I am finally there.  It has taken me many years to get here.  But, now?  Wow!  I am so thankful.  I hear how stressed all my friends are, how tired they all are, how they long for more "me" time, and it makes me thankful, no matter how it came to be.

So now I have my weekdays to do as I wish.  I fill them or not.  Sometimes I sit and catch up on DVR'd shows, read or knit.  Sometimes I fill them with volunteering, errands, lunches with friends, appointments.  Sometimes I spend them resting.  It is such a luxury to allow my gut and joints to dictate what and how much I do.  I am a lucky girl!

Now, I want this to be interactive.  You can comment here on the blog, or on facebook, your choice.  Do you have a blessing which cost you?  Would you share it?

Go now and be thankful.  Look for things to be thankful for, you never know what I might ask you to share tomorrow!

In An Instant

A moment in time, and your world can change.  Have you seen the Sprint commercial where because something has downloaded so quickly on her phone a woman is able to bend down faster, and therefore bumps into someone and she ends up a prima ballerina, while the same person with a slower phone ends up a ballet teacher of small children?  A moment, and your world can change.

We've all felt it.  Sometimes it is like we are watching it unfold in slow motion.  A month ago I didn't use the "holder dilly" on the mandolin, and used my hand to hold the potato, and well, sliced a chunk out of my finger.  I watched that unfold in slow motion, but couldn't stop it from occurring because the path was already set in motion.  Sometimes your life changes, and you didn't even see it coming.  You simply picked up the phone and boom!  Life is no longer as it was before.

We can't go back.  We don't have a remote control to push the rewind button.  While cutting that potato, I couldn't push pause when my consciousness realized what was about to occur.  So we have to live with the consequences of that moment.  Me?  I had to get a bandaid.  Sometimes though the consequences are greater than a simple bandaid can alleviate.  It is in those moments when growth happens.

When you find yourself in that situation, your life has drastically changed, you may feel lost.  You may even be angry.  How could one moment change so much?  How could one seemingly small decision change my life so drastically?  There is grief.  You have lost the life you thought you were leading.  There is sorrow.

After the grief, the shock, and the pain is over, you find you still have life.  How do we live after the change?  Do we learn something and become better people?  Do we adapt and in adapting become more?  Or do we let it become a crutch?  Do we then just make bad decisions because life has already changed so why the hell not?

One moment, and your life can change.  So what are you gonna do?

My son's 18th birthday

Today my son turns 18.  He is at college, and I am at home.  This is the first birthday which I have not been with him.  This is our first apart.  We drove down last weekend to watch him play ball and to take him to lunch.  But it was weird.  It was different.  We all felt it.  He got a little choked up and I got, well, I cried.

I never gave much thought to that mother bird.  I have always marveled at the baby birds and how they fly away from the nest and all the cool adventures they will have in life, but never gave a seconds notice to that mother.  What must go through her mind?  Well, after the relief of getting them fed, and all out of the nest, then what?  Basically, she starts the next chapter of her life.  Which for that bird is more eggs.  Well, I am glad we differ there.  I am not at all interested in starting another family, even if it was possible!

I am beginning a new chapter in my life.  I am trying new things, planning new adventures, and trying to stay busy.  I am excited about the possibilities that lay ahead.

Today...today it is not so easy.  It is rainy and cool outside.  It is the kind of day that both my boy and I hate.  We really like the sun.  Not the heat, but the sun.  So, it is the kind of day we would snuggle up and watch a movie.  Of course, as he got older, that would be him snuggled upstairs or over on the couch and me in my chair.  Long gone are the days when he snuggled next to me.  :-)  We might still share a movie, but likely not.  Still, we both knew there was someone else in the house that was battling the weather blues with them.

I miss my boy so terribly.  Yet at the same time I am so very proud of him.  I know it was time.  I know he will succeed.  I am living in the time of Happy/Sads as a friend recently told me.  Happy that he is gone and doing well and sad that he is not still here with me.  A time of change.

So today I will remember.  Remember his birth story, his funny toddler stories, his school days, his baseball stories, his successes as well as his defeats.  Then I will send forth into the universe my hopes for his future.  Hopes of peace, love and tranquility.  I will also probably be sure and hug the girl that is still here.

So, if your kids are still home, go hug them.  If they aren't, well you know where I am.

Peace.

Day Two of the Chicken Experiment

Tonight we had Chicken Tortilla Soup!  This is by far one of my favorite soups!  I usually cut up one or two raw chicken breast and saute it in the pan, but tonight, I used my handy dandy chicken from the one I cooked on Sunday.  The chicken fell apart in the soup instead of being in chunks, but I like it.  PLUS, it is very low in calories!!!  One cup = One bowl = 60 calories!!!!  Of course, we add some cheese and fritos, but not many!  What is your favorite soup recipe?

Chicken Tortilla Soup

7 oz. chicken cut up
1 qt. canned tomatoes
1qt. chicken broth
1 can chopped green chilies
1 small onion, chopped
2 cloves of garlic
1 t. chili powder
1 t. cumin

Saute the onions and garlic, add the spices, then the chilies, let them blend together a bit, then add the tomatoes, chicken broth and the chicken.  Let simmer for a bit and eat!!

One chicken, how many meals? Day One

Well, yesterday I poached a $4 organic whole chicken.  I scavenged all the meat and put it in a baggie for the week.  Tonight was Chicken Enchiladas Salsa Verde.  Wow!  It was really good!!!  I liked that you could make the salsa verde early in the day and then just assemble at dinner time.  I also really liked the salad on top.  The bad part is that it was 450 calories!!  Got to figure out how to lower that!

So stay tune to see how the chicken gets used tomorrow night.  Oh yea, I am feeding 3 people, btw!  What is your favorite way to use shredded chicken?  Is it low calorie?

Thoughts on my god

Sitting outdoors in the cool temps with my hot coffee.  I love this.  The only thing that could make it better is all of you, my friends, here with me.  I have decided that this is the place for me to worship at this time in my life.  The world seems so crystal clear to me right now.  The blues in the sky are brighter than I remember and the green on the plants and trees, is so vibrant with life.  I feel the pulse of nature through my veins.  It is here I see god.  She is present in so much out here.  I feel her presence in the cool breeze that wafts my hair.  In the warmth of the sun I feel her love.  This is what I know.  This is god.  This is all that I know about god right now.  And this is enough.

I am not one to talk a lot about god.  Don't know if you noticed or not.  I don't claim to have many answers, just a lot of questions.  So I try to focus only on what I know.  The facts that have been made known to me.  For instance, I know that I will make it through the bad times in my life.  I know I will feel alone, but will not be.  I can not say that god only gives us as much as we can handle.  I can't say that because there have been many times in my life I have felt pretty overwhelmed.  But I do know that during those moments, if I took a breath and looked around me, I saw god.  Maybe in my baby's smile, or a friends' hug, or a nurses' soft touch, but god was there.  I don't know about all things work together for good.  There have been plenty of not so good things in my life.  They didn't all work out to be good. Or should I say, I haven't let them all work out for good.  I think we make choices.  I think that is god's gift to us.  We have free-will.  So sometimes I do choose to see the good in events, but sometimes, all I see is the bad.     Sometimes I choose to look back and see how it all came together, other times I see only how it didn't.  But I know that god was there.

Today, god, I give you thanks that even though my body fails me, I have been given a gift.  The gift of time.  I have time to sit out here and feel the warmth of your smile, the soft caress of your breath, your creativity through creation.  My life is slow, just how I like it.  I am not rushed and hurried, I have time to take a breath.  Time to look around me.  Time to let a harried mother go in front of me at the grocery line.  Time to watch football with my husband.  Thank you.  I choose today to look at my    "not working"  as a gift.  Thank you.

Do you see god today?  Do you take the time that is around you?  Even if it is only a minute?  Do you look for god?  I hope so.

May god's smile find you today, may her caress bring you comfort and may her creativity inspire you.  Amen.