A miracle occurred last night. And it couldn't have come at a better time. I have been discouraged, tired of being sick, and needing something. This miracle lifted my heart to new heights.
It starts with a secret. I had a favorite student. I know, I know, as a teacher you are NEVER supposed to have a pet. And I never let it show, mainly because sometimes she could REALLY try my patience. But in 1993, this little girl came into my classroom at 6 years old and promptly crawled up into my heart and never left. This little girl was scared, feisty, and had a little light in her eyes that no one had ever seen or nurtured. What she knew was fighting. That was the only way she got things, I think. She came from a rather large family and was a twin. You know she had to be feisty to make herself heard. What I saw in her though, was not a bad child, but a child who simply didn't know another way. This had worked for her. Fighting got her what she needed, so why try another way? Yes, all of this at 6 years of age. So I took her in my heart and got to keep her in first grade, second grade, and third grade. I had the privilege to watch this young girl learn other ways to get what she wanted. Now, she still fought, because in her neighborhood, I think she had to. (I didn't quite understand that then, but I do now.) And beneath that tough girl exterior was a loving little girl. And smart! Wow, once she stopped fighting me, she learned FAST!!! To be honest that was the true miracle. She was amazing. When Jack got a job in Maryland, I was crushed. Yes, I had a great reputation in Waco that I didn't want to leave. I had worked hard for that. But I didn't want to leave this little girl. I felt like I was abandoning her like others in her life had done. What message would that send this little girl that I adored? This was before computers and cell phones. This 9 year old was not going to write me letters and send them in the mail, so how would I keep letting her know that I was there? How would I communicate encouragement to her if I was not near? I was crushed. To be honest, I think I went into a depression over this. Of course, the big move, having 2 small children, living in a different culture (DC is a different culture, believe me), and the huge shift in our family life all contributed. But I think the start was feeling like I abandoned this little girl.
So, I held her in my heart. I kept up with her the only way I could, in my heart. I thought about her as she started 4th grade, 5th grade, 6th grade, etc. I sent good thoughts to her. I encouraged her to not give up. To keep trying even though she might be discouraged. I prayed her fighting would not get her into too much trouble. I prayed nothing untoward would come to her. Then I started helping other girls here in NC. I felt by helping them, I was helping her wherever she was. I kept up with one young girl who reminded me a bit of the TX girl. She had the same fight and sparkle in her eyes. But she moved away and I lost her too.
Leaving teaching was the hardest thing I have done. But leaving Shamika was harder. Now though, the universe has sent me a miracle. I found her. I found her on facebook. She is alive. Oh she looks good. She remembers me. She is graduating this weekend. She looks happy. I am so excited to catch up with her. I want to know how much she had to fight to get to where she is. I want to know if she felt me in her heart. I want to know that she has found love. I am so excited.
So the secret is out. In my heart are really 3 children, Stephen, Allie and Shamika. She has been there all these years, and will stay there till the end. Now I get to welcome her home. I wish I could be there this weekend, Shamika, to watch you graduate. I would hoot and holler louder than anyone. I would gather you in my arms and hug you tight. I would kiss your cheek and tell you how proud of you I am. I would beam. So girl, feel that. Hear me as you cross the stage, feel my hug, feel my kiss, and hear my words.........
I AM PROUD OF YOU!!
LOVE, MRS. MCKINNEY
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Sister's Wives
Yes, I am openly admitting that I watch this show on TLC. I began watching out of curiosity. My only image of polygamists was of the ultra conservatives. The long hair, old-timey dresses, marrying 13 year old girls to much older men, etc. But this show seem to show something else.
Cody is the husband. He is in his late 30's, early 40's? His first wife, and only legally wedded wife is Merrie. Merrie was brought up in a family of polygamists, and always knew she wanted to have that same type family. In fact, several years later, Merrie introduced Janelle to Cody and she became his 2nd wife. All the women are close in age, all around Cody's age. The Christina came along to make wife no. 3. They have several children among the three women. Christina stays at home and Janelle, Cody, and Merrie all work outside the home. They own a home that has 3 separate apartments. So each wife has their own kitchen and living area. When the show begins airing, Cody has fallen in love for the fourth time. He eventually marries Robin. All of these women were 21 years of age when they chose to marry Cody. They were well aware of the other wives, there were no tricks. Each wife chose this lifestyle. But, it is against the law in Utah, where it is probably more prominent. A couple of the wives have memories of their families being split up because their fathers were arrested. You might be asking why on earth would they go on National TV? Well, they thought people had changed. And as people may have changed, the law has not. So the State Prosecutor has instigated an investigation into their case.
The whole time I watch this show, I think about how I feel about this. It is not the lifestyle for me. I think it is wrong no matter your religious beliefs to marry a minor child and have sex with them. But, what about 2, 3, or 4 consenting adults? What about this family who is paying their way, paying taxes, raising normal, healthy children? They are practicing their religion. They don't want to try to change other people. They simply want religious freedom to live "family" they way they define it.
So, should government interfere in their personal lives, as long as they are all consenting adults? Is having one daddy, and 3 mommies detrimental to the children? All these thoughts are swirling in my head today as I watched the finale.
What are your thoughts?
Cody is the husband. He is in his late 30's, early 40's? His first wife, and only legally wedded wife is Merrie. Merrie was brought up in a family of polygamists, and always knew she wanted to have that same type family. In fact, several years later, Merrie introduced Janelle to Cody and she became his 2nd wife. All the women are close in age, all around Cody's age. The Christina came along to make wife no. 3. They have several children among the three women. Christina stays at home and Janelle, Cody, and Merrie all work outside the home. They own a home that has 3 separate apartments. So each wife has their own kitchen and living area. When the show begins airing, Cody has fallen in love for the fourth time. He eventually marries Robin. All of these women were 21 years of age when they chose to marry Cody. They were well aware of the other wives, there were no tricks. Each wife chose this lifestyle. But, it is against the law in Utah, where it is probably more prominent. A couple of the wives have memories of their families being split up because their fathers were arrested. You might be asking why on earth would they go on National TV? Well, they thought people had changed. And as people may have changed, the law has not. So the State Prosecutor has instigated an investigation into their case.
The whole time I watch this show, I think about how I feel about this. It is not the lifestyle for me. I think it is wrong no matter your religious beliefs to marry a minor child and have sex with them. But, what about 2, 3, or 4 consenting adults? What about this family who is paying their way, paying taxes, raising normal, healthy children? They are practicing their religion. They don't want to try to change other people. They simply want religious freedom to live "family" they way they define it.
So, should government interfere in their personal lives, as long as they are all consenting adults? Is having one daddy, and 3 mommies detrimental to the children? All these thoughts are swirling in my head today as I watched the finale.
What are your thoughts?
Sunday, May 22, 2011
YOU MAY DO ONE ACTIVITY AT A TIME
When my son got to the age of having "activities" outside of our home, we were in the position of making some decisions about how we wanted our family life to look. Having met several of his 4-year old friends' moms who literally had a separate day planner for their 4 year old's activities, I was taken aback. I noticed that although both parents had full-time jobs as did Jack and I, they also had a nanny who was in charge of getting said child to all these activities. And that was not happening at the McKinney household. I was teaching at the time and was experiencing the older children who were living this same lifestyle. I remember one young lady who was very bright, but could not be quiet. She was so obnoxiously social, it was causing problems in my class. I ran a very independent style classroom, and this young lady couldn't organize her time on her own to complete any assignment. When I sat down with her, the issue became glaringly obvious. She was at French lessons every morning before school from 7:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. Then she came straight to school. After school, she had about 30 minutes at the daycare next door before being shuttled over to gymnastics where she worked out from 4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. 4 days a week. Then it was home, dinner, and finish any homework that was not done in the 30 min. at daycare. Weekends were spent playing soccer, going to gymnastic meets, and more practice. This child was exhausted and the only free-time she had was in my classroom. So, she used that time to "play". Because all children need "play" time. Out of all this, came our family's philosophy. You may do one activity at a time.
So, Stephen's first choice was soccer. This proved to not be a great sport for him. He was very good at the actual sport, but the running into people and knocking them down, was too hard for him. He would score a goal and go back and apologize to the other kid! So the next year he chose baseball. Every season we would ask, "what do you want to try this season?" and his answer was always "BASEBALL!!"
Allie on the other hand, tried ballet, gymnastics, piano, and then singing in the Capital City Girls' Choir. She thought about trying softball or soccer, but when it became clear that she could not choose the color of her jersey, and she might have to wear something other than pink....she opted out! Yep, a girlie girl from the beginning.
This method of one activity has really worked for our family. Especially since we rarely had conflicts with either child's schedules. Stephen played year round with a 3 month break in Dec., Jan., and Feb. Allie's schedule was pretty set every Monday during the school year she had choir and then one performance in December and one in May. Very quickly, baseball began to take over our family life. Many a birthday and anniversary were spent at a baseball field. We got to travel to some pretty neat places to watch baseball. We have made some good friends watching our sons play. Granted, as Allie got older, the allure wore off for her.
Last year when Stephen left for college, we knew our lives would change. But surprisingly, baseball was the common thread. We went down many weekends in the fall and spring to watch scrimmages and games. Our family traveled to Savannah, GA, to a tournament. So, even though my house didn't smell like baseball anymore, baseball was still a huge part of our lives.
Stephen has made a decision that will change our lifestyle. He has finally decided it is time to move on to something new and leave baseball behind. I think he has sacrificed so much for this sport over the years, that he is ready to just live. He wants to get on with his life. He realized that baseball as a way of life, wasn't what he wanted. Having recently gone through Jack's major life change, we get it! We are sad of course, it is the end of a childhood dream. But we are excited to see where life leads him now. He will be leaving UNC-Pembroke, which he really hated, and will enter Appalachian this fall. He is excited.
So this summer will be his finale. He will play with his legion team, and many of his childhood friends, as a farewell to the sport that has shaped him and seen him through many years.
Our lifestyle will change dramatically. No more running to Pembroke on the weekends for a game. No more baseballs in my yard. No more net in my driveway. No more buying summer clothes with "sitting in the sun for hours and sweating" in mind.
So, I will savor this summer. I will cherish every play, every dirty uniform, every bit of red clay all over my house, and every smelly hat! I will sit back and enjoy sharing this family lifestyle for just a little bit more.
Then, come fall, I will still have Allie and her Monday rehearsals.....I will cherish every moment driving her to and fro. For I will have learned that I will miss our family philosophy: You may do one activity at a time.
So, Stephen's first choice was soccer. This proved to not be a great sport for him. He was very good at the actual sport, but the running into people and knocking them down, was too hard for him. He would score a goal and go back and apologize to the other kid! So the next year he chose baseball. Every season we would ask, "what do you want to try this season?" and his answer was always "BASEBALL!!"
Allie on the other hand, tried ballet, gymnastics, piano, and then singing in the Capital City Girls' Choir. She thought about trying softball or soccer, but when it became clear that she could not choose the color of her jersey, and she might have to wear something other than pink....she opted out! Yep, a girlie girl from the beginning.
This method of one activity has really worked for our family. Especially since we rarely had conflicts with either child's schedules. Stephen played year round with a 3 month break in Dec., Jan., and Feb. Allie's schedule was pretty set every Monday during the school year she had choir and then one performance in December and one in May. Very quickly, baseball began to take over our family life. Many a birthday and anniversary were spent at a baseball field. We got to travel to some pretty neat places to watch baseball. We have made some good friends watching our sons play. Granted, as Allie got older, the allure wore off for her.
Last year when Stephen left for college, we knew our lives would change. But surprisingly, baseball was the common thread. We went down many weekends in the fall and spring to watch scrimmages and games. Our family traveled to Savannah, GA, to a tournament. So, even though my house didn't smell like baseball anymore, baseball was still a huge part of our lives.
Stephen has made a decision that will change our lifestyle. He has finally decided it is time to move on to something new and leave baseball behind. I think he has sacrificed so much for this sport over the years, that he is ready to just live. He wants to get on with his life. He realized that baseball as a way of life, wasn't what he wanted. Having recently gone through Jack's major life change, we get it! We are sad of course, it is the end of a childhood dream. But we are excited to see where life leads him now. He will be leaving UNC-Pembroke, which he really hated, and will enter Appalachian this fall. He is excited.
So this summer will be his finale. He will play with his legion team, and many of his childhood friends, as a farewell to the sport that has shaped him and seen him through many years.
Our lifestyle will change dramatically. No more running to Pembroke on the weekends for a game. No more baseballs in my yard. No more net in my driveway. No more buying summer clothes with "sitting in the sun for hours and sweating" in mind.
So, I will savor this summer. I will cherish every play, every dirty uniform, every bit of red clay all over my house, and every smelly hat! I will sit back and enjoy sharing this family lifestyle for just a little bit more.
Then, come fall, I will still have Allie and her Monday rehearsals.....I will cherish every moment driving her to and fro. For I will have learned that I will miss our family philosophy: You may do one activity at a time.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Love Thursday
Okay, this is a day late...Blogger wouldn't let me on yesterday...So, I am going to write today!
This week I'm loving:
1. Feeling better. Seriously! I can hold my head up, and actually get out of bed!!! I lost a whole month!!!! But I am starting my way up!
2. My family! I had a great Mother's Day. They are the best!
3. Baseball! It is so fun to watch games online or on tv with my hubby!
4. My daughter...she just cracks me up. She is so disciplined! One day this week she chose to do homework instead of hanging out with her friends...she is great!!!
5. Bunnies in my yard!! They are so cute!
That is what I am loving this week...what are you loving?
This week I'm loving:
1. Feeling better. Seriously! I can hold my head up, and actually get out of bed!!! I lost a whole month!!!! But I am starting my way up!
2. My family! I had a great Mother's Day. They are the best!
3. Baseball! It is so fun to watch games online or on tv with my hubby!
4. My daughter...she just cracks me up. She is so disciplined! One day this week she chose to do homework instead of hanging out with her friends...she is great!!!
5. Bunnies in my yard!! They are so cute!
That is what I am loving this week...what are you loving?
Monday, May 9, 2011
Menu Monday
Today is Menu Monday, and because I was drugged out on Saturday, the day Jack and Allie go to the store, they took over. Unfortunately, they don't shop the same way I do. I must have a menu plan before I go to the store. They just go and pick up stuff they know we will eat. :-) Hey, we all have different styles! So I am going to make up a meal plan from what they bought. I don't know that this is what we will ACTUALLY eat, but maybe close!
Monday - Trader Joe's Barbecue Chicken Sandwiches
Tuesday - Spaghetti (never had it last week)
Wednesday - Subway sandwiches
Thursday - Grilled Chicken and Smashed Sweet Potatoes
Friday - Taco Salad
What are you eating this week?
Tuesday - Spaghetti (never had it last week)
Wednesday - Subway sandwiches
Thursday - Grilled Chicken and Smashed Sweet Potatoes
Friday - Taco Salad
What are you eating this week?
Friday, May 6, 2011
"Has God caught up with you yet?"
Today has been interesting. This morning as I drank my coffee and ate my breakfast, I turned on the TV to watch Grey's Anatomy which I had DVRed. It was about Arizona and Callie's wedding. In this episode, Callie's mother is seen refusing to hold the baby and really seeming not too excited about the whole ordeal. Finally, when Callie confronts her mother, her mother lets loose. This mother tells her child that she cannot and will not have anything to do with this baby who is born out of wedlock and will not acknowledge this as a wedding since it is not legal nor moral. The hero of this story comes in the form of Dr. Bailey. She says something in comforting Callie later that really touched me. "Where do you think God is? He's in you! He's in me! He's right here between the 2 of us. The world, it just hasn't caught up to God yet, your mother just hasn't caught up to God yet."
Then I flipped over to watch one of Oprah's shows from this week. It was on the Freedom Riders. I was touched and bowled over by the bravery and strength that those people had. They were 18, 19, 21, 28 years old!! Just children, really! And here they were, signing their wills and testaments and getting on a bus where they were mostly assured that they would die, get arrested, or beaten. That takes my breath away. Oprah asks, "What do you believe in so much that you would die for?"
Many leaders are drawing a correlation between the Civil Rights Movement and the GLBT Rights Movement. Black people were considered "less than". The Bible was used to say that Black people were inferior to White people. White people were scared of Black people. Black people were killed, hated, beaten, and not honored by any laws. Today, GLBT people are considered "less than". The Bible is used to say that GLBT people are inferior to Straight people. Straight people are scared of GLBT people. GLBT people are killed, hated, beaten and not honored by laws.
Are your children going to look back and say, "Wow, my parents stood up in a time when many thought they were wrong, to do what was right"? Or are they going to hang their head in embarrassment?
I pray God catches up with all of us soon.
(GLBT stands for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender) ( just in case you didn't know)
Then I flipped over to watch one of Oprah's shows from this week. It was on the Freedom Riders. I was touched and bowled over by the bravery and strength that those people had. They were 18, 19, 21, 28 years old!! Just children, really! And here they were, signing their wills and testaments and getting on a bus where they were mostly assured that they would die, get arrested, or beaten. That takes my breath away. Oprah asks, "What do you believe in so much that you would die for?"
Many leaders are drawing a correlation between the Civil Rights Movement and the GLBT Rights Movement. Black people were considered "less than". The Bible was used to say that Black people were inferior to White people. White people were scared of Black people. Black people were killed, hated, beaten, and not honored by any laws. Today, GLBT people are considered "less than". The Bible is used to say that GLBT people are inferior to Straight people. Straight people are scared of GLBT people. GLBT people are killed, hated, beaten and not honored by laws.
Are your children going to look back and say, "Wow, my parents stood up in a time when many thought they were wrong, to do what was right"? Or are they going to hang their head in embarrassment?
I pray God catches up with all of us soon.
(GLBT stands for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender) ( just in case you didn't know)
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Love Thursday
It is THURSDAY!!!! And you know what that means? You get a peek into what I am thankful for this week!
So, today, I am loving:
1. The smell of freshly cracked pepper sizzling in a little olive oil right before I drop my egg white into the tiny pan! Mmmmmmmmmm, good!!!
2. Watching my dog, Sunshine, go around the house excited, then when I sit in my chair in the bedroom, she plops on the floor and within minutes she is SAWING LOGS!!! Too cute!!!
3. Seeing all the pictures of mothers on facebook! (gotta go get mine up!)
4. Fresh clean sheets, pulled tight with no wrinkles!!!
5. The feeling after going for 3 days without a shower and the clean feeling you get! Just makes you come alive!!!
Yes, as you can tell, I have not been outside my house since last Thursday! These are little things....but they do make me smile!!!!
What are you loving this week?
So, today, I am loving:
1. The smell of freshly cracked pepper sizzling in a little olive oil right before I drop my egg white into the tiny pan! Mmmmmmmmmm, good!!!
3. Seeing all the pictures of mothers on facebook! (gotta go get mine up!)
4. Fresh clean sheets, pulled tight with no wrinkles!!!
5. The feeling after going for 3 days without a shower and the clean feeling you get! Just makes you come alive!!!
Yes, as you can tell, I have not been outside my house since last Thursday! These are little things....but they do make me smile!!!!
What are you loving this week?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)