Monday, February 14, 2011

A Silly Love Story

Once upon a time, there was a young girl, a silly young girl.  A girl who laughed in an unusual way and at inopportune times.  A sweet girl, a girl who loved her friends and her college.  A girl who had a plan.  A life plan by which she would live her life.  This silly young girl loved plans.  She loved writing out her plan for each day knowing that those days led up to the big plan, the overarching plan.   She met a boy her freshman year.  A silly boy who broke appointments with her.  A boy who stayed up late and slept in.  A boy who had big ideas for the leadership of his school.  The girl didn't think much about him, but there was always something.  Something she couldn't quite see.  The girl continued down her path all planned out.  She spent the summer working and writing all her college friends wherever they were that summer.  All except the silly boy who never gave her his address.  When school started back the silly boy went to the silly girl and asked why she hadn't written.  The silly girl made a smart remark and they laughed.  But there was something.  Something she couldn't quite see.  The silly boy became president of his class and the silly girl was the secretary.  They had meetings and often the boy would walk the girl and her friend home.  The silly girl began work at the library.  She noticed the silly boy hanging out.  Often the silly boy seemed to be leaving the library at the same time she was, so they would walk together.  They talked, they laughed, and there was something.  Something she couldn't quite see.  Secretly the silly girl got off her plan.  She began to see another boy, not a silly boy, not a nice boy.  She realized this but felt trapped.  She was scared and began to share with the silly boy.  He listened so intently, but never gave advice.  One night after a meeting, the silly girl was in the elevator with her friend.  The friend said, "you know the silly boy likes you."  The silly girl laughed and laughed.  But there was something.  Something she couldn't quite see.  Soon after that, the silly boy offered the silly girl an escape.  Go out with him, the silly boy.  So, she did.

The silly girl began to like the silly boy.  There was just something.  Something she couldn't quite see.  The silly boy and silly girl started spending all their free time together.  They talked and talked about everything.  They laughed and laughed.  The silly girl pretended to like staying up late at night.  She pretended to really like watching sports on TV.  The silly boy suspected, but didn't care, because she was sitting by him and that was all that mattered.  The silly girl got sick and had to leave school without saying goodbye to the silly boy.  So the silly boy went to her house.  It was then that the silly girl KNEW there was something.  But she still couldn't quite see.  They continued dating after returning to school until one day, the silly girl SAW.  She saw the something.  She saw it LOUD AND CLEAR.  The silly girl never wanted to be apart from the silly boy ever.  The something was LOVE.  This scared the silly girl, because this was not her life plan.  The silly boy was not who she planned on marrying.  He was a MINISTERIAL STUDENT.  The silly girl was NOT going to marry a MINISTERIAL STUDENT.  Plus she wasn't supposed to get married till she was out of college for a year or two.  She wasn't supposed to meet the boy until her junior year!  The silly boy was wrecking the silly girl's life plan.  So, the silly girl broke up with the silly boy.

Unlike the previous boy, the not nice boy, the silly boy was a boy of integrity.  He had given his word that he would go to watch the silly girl's younger brother play basketball, and he was going.  On the drive to the silly girl's house, it was silent.  There was little talk, little laughter.  Not silly at all.  After dinner, the silly girl's grandmother said to the silly girl, "He is the one."  The silly girl gasped and said, "I hope not, because I just broke up with him."  "Well, you better fix that," replied the silly girl's grandmother.  So, on the way home that night, the silly girl pleaded with the silly boy to take her back.  She didn't want to be without him.  The silly boy smiled, and said yes, because the silly boy knew all along that the silly girl was scared, but he didn't care because she was right beside him and that was all that mattered.

The silly girl and the silly boy got married and became the silly woman and the silly man.  Together they had a silly baby boy and a silly baby girl.   They still talk and talk and laugh and laugh.  The silly woman still pretends sometimes to love watching sports on TV, and the silly man knows.  But it is okay because she is sitting right beside him and that is all that matters.


Thursday, February 10, 2011


You invited me in, and poured me some tea.
I sat, listened and held your hand.
You poured out your soul,
I poured out mine.
And now there is nothing.
A big blank hole.

I don't usually venture out to others' homes.
I keep to myself and those trusted few.
But out I came and bared my soul.
Out I came and took on your pain.
And now there is nothing.
A big blank hole.

I am left standing with your pain in my heart.
I am left holding a forgotten promise.
A piece of my soul is out there.
I am too trusting, but ne'er again.
And now there is nothing.
A big blank hole.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Breathing in 2011

Maybe this year I will just post on the first day of the month!  Ha!!  It is funny, I can go through periods where a blog post come into my head every day, and then times when I forget I have a blog.  :-)  I want to develop my writing, and to do so, I need to write everyday.  EVERY. DAY. hmmmmmm.........

I just reread my post for the beginning of 2011.  It seems that I was very prescient.  "Let go."  Wow, who knew those 2 little words could have such an impact on my life.  I wrote that I would like to "Let go" more in 2011.  Well, almost immediately, I have been provided with many opportunities to practice.  And well, let's just say my grade right now is in the "D" range.

I have written about these same areas so many times.  I have struggled with them so many times.  And I get so angry at myself now because once again I am giving my power away.  Once again I am allowing fear to rule my thoughts and emotions.  Once I am not going to write about them here.  I am not going to let these issues reign in my life.

I am going to breathe in...................and feel my body filling with oxygen and air
then as I slowly exhale.....................I will let those fears go
breathe in............................feel my body expanding
exhale.........................let the betrayals go
breathe in.....................and listen to the silence as I hold
then exhale....................let those people go
breathe in.....................and feel my heart beating
exhale........................let go of the bitterness
breathe in...........................feel the warmth spreading
exhale........................let go of the negative
breathe in.................feel the positive energy
exhale.......................let the pain go
breathe in...................feel the healing begin.

How about you?  Do you have something you just can't let go?  Does it creep into your life continually?  How do you handle it?

For now, I'll just keep breathing........