Wednesday, September 29, 2010

My son's 18th birthday

Today my son turns 18.  He is at college, and I am at home.  This is the first birthday which I have not been with him.  This is our first apart.  We drove down last weekend to watch him play ball and to take him to lunch.  But it was weird.  It was different.  We all felt it.  He got a little choked up and I got, well, I cried.

I never gave much thought to that mother bird.  I have always marveled at the baby birds and how they fly away from the nest and all the cool adventures they will have in life, but never gave a seconds notice to that mother.  What must go through her mind?  Well, after the relief of getting them fed, and all out of the nest, then what?  Basically, she starts the next chapter of her life.  Which for that bird is more eggs.  Well, I am glad we differ there.  I am not at all interested in starting another family, even if it was possible!

I am beginning a new chapter in my life.  I am trying new things, planning new adventures, and trying to stay busy.  I am excited about the possibilities that lay ahead. it is not so easy.  It is rainy and cool outside.  It is the kind of day that both my boy and I hate.  We really like the sun.  Not the heat, but the sun.  So, it is the kind of day we would snuggle up and watch a movie.  Of course, as he got older, that would be him snuggled upstairs or over on the couch and me in my chair.  Long gone are the days when he snuggled next to me.  :-)  We might still share a movie, but likely not.  Still, we both knew there was someone else in the house that was battling the weather blues with them.

I miss my boy so terribly.  Yet at the same time I am so very proud of him.  I know it was time.  I know he will succeed.  I am living in the time of Happy/Sads as a friend recently told me.  Happy that he is gone and doing well and sad that he is not still here with me.  A time of change.

So today I will remember.  Remember his birth story, his funny toddler stories, his school days, his baseball stories, his successes as well as his defeats.  Then I will send forth into the universe my hopes for his future.  Hopes of peace, love and tranquility.  I will also probably be sure and hug the girl that is still here.

So, if your kids are still home, go hug them.  If they aren't, well you know where I am.


Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Day Two of the Chicken Experiment

Tonight we had Chicken Tortilla Soup!  This is by far one of my favorite soups!  I usually cut up one or two raw chicken breast and saute it in the pan, but tonight, I used my handy dandy chicken from the one I cooked on Sunday.  The chicken fell apart in the soup instead of being in chunks, but I like it.  PLUS, it is very low in calories!!!  One cup = One bowl = 60 calories!!!!  Of course, we add some cheese and fritos, but not many!  What is your favorite soup recipe?

Chicken Tortilla Soup

7 oz. chicken cut up
1 qt. canned tomatoes
1qt. chicken broth
1 can chopped green chilies
1 small onion, chopped
2 cloves of garlic
1 t. chili powder
1 t. cumin

Saute the onions and garlic, add the spices, then the chilies, let them blend together a bit, then add the tomatoes, chicken broth and the chicken.  Let simmer for a bit and eat!!

Monday, September 20, 2010

One chicken, how many meals? Day One

Well, yesterday I poached a $4 organic whole chicken.  I scavenged all the meat and put it in a baggie for the week.  Tonight was Chicken Enchiladas Salsa Verde.  Wow!  It was really good!!!  I liked that you could make the salsa verde early in the day and then just assemble at dinner time.  I also really liked the salad on top.  The bad part is that it was 450 calories!!  Got to figure out how to lower that!

So stay tune to see how the chicken gets used tomorrow night.  Oh yea, I am feeding 3 people, btw!  What is your favorite way to use shredded chicken?  Is it low calorie?

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Thoughts on my god

Sitting outdoors in the cool temps with my hot coffee.  I love this.  The only thing that could make it better is all of you, my friends, here with me.  I have decided that this is the place for me to worship at this time in my life.  The world seems so crystal clear to me right now.  The blues in the sky are brighter than I remember and the green on the plants and trees, is so vibrant with life.  I feel the pulse of nature through my veins.  It is here I see god.  She is present in so much out here.  I feel her presence in the cool breeze that wafts my hair.  In the warmth of the sun I feel her love.  This is what I know.  This is god.  This is all that I know about god right now.  And this is enough.

I am not one to talk a lot about god.  Don't know if you noticed or not.  I don't claim to have many answers, just a lot of questions.  So I try to focus only on what I know.  The facts that have been made known to me.  For instance, I know that I will make it through the bad times in my life.  I know I will feel alone, but will not be.  I can not say that god only gives us as much as we can handle.  I can't say that because there have been many times in my life I have felt pretty overwhelmed.  But I do know that during those moments, if I took a breath and looked around me, I saw god.  Maybe in my baby's smile, or a friends' hug, or a nurses' soft touch, but god was there.  I don't know about all things work together for good.  There have been plenty of not so good things in my life.  They didn't all work out to be good. Or should I say, I haven't let them all work out for good.  I think we make choices.  I think that is god's gift to us.  We have free-will.  So sometimes I do choose to see the good in events, but sometimes, all I see is the bad.     Sometimes I choose to look back and see how it all came together, other times I see only how it didn't.  But I know that god was there.

Today, god, I give you thanks that even though my body fails me, I have been given a gift.  The gift of time.  I have time to sit out here and feel the warmth of your smile, the soft caress of your breath, your creativity through creation.  My life is slow, just how I like it.  I am not rushed and hurried, I have time to take a breath.  Time to look around me.  Time to let a harried mother go in front of me at the grocery line.  Time to watch football with my husband.  Thank you.  I choose today to look at my    "not working"  as a gift.  Thank you.

Do you see god today?  Do you take the time that is around you?  Even if it is only a minute?  Do you look for god?  I hope so.

May god's smile find you today, may her caress bring you comfort and may her creativity inspire you.  Amen.