Sunday, September 5, 2010

Thoughts on my god

Sitting outdoors in the cool temps with my hot coffee.  I love this.  The only thing that could make it better is all of you, my friends, here with me.  I have decided that this is the place for me to worship at this time in my life.  The world seems so crystal clear to me right now.  The blues in the sky are brighter than I remember and the green on the plants and trees, is so vibrant with life.  I feel the pulse of nature through my veins.  It is here I see god.  She is present in so much out here.  I feel her presence in the cool breeze that wafts my hair.  In the warmth of the sun I feel her love.  This is what I know.  This is god.  This is all that I know about god right now.  And this is enough.

I am not one to talk a lot about god.  Don't know if you noticed or not.  I don't claim to have many answers, just a lot of questions.  So I try to focus only on what I know.  The facts that have been made known to me.  For instance, I know that I will make it through the bad times in my life.  I know I will feel alone, but will not be.  I can not say that god only gives us as much as we can handle.  I can't say that because there have been many times in my life I have felt pretty overwhelmed.  But I do know that during those moments, if I took a breath and looked around me, I saw god.  Maybe in my baby's smile, or a friends' hug, or a nurses' soft touch, but god was there.  I don't know about all things work together for good.  There have been plenty of not so good things in my life.  They didn't all work out to be good. Or should I say, I haven't let them all work out for good.  I think we make choices.  I think that is god's gift to us.  We have free-will.  So sometimes I do choose to see the good in events, but sometimes, all I see is the bad.     Sometimes I choose to look back and see how it all came together, other times I see only how it didn't.  But I know that god was there.

Today, god, I give you thanks that even though my body fails me, I have been given a gift.  The gift of time.  I have time to sit out here and feel the warmth of your smile, the soft caress of your breath, your creativity through creation.  My life is slow, just how I like it.  I am not rushed and hurried, I have time to take a breath.  Time to look around me.  Time to let a harried mother go in front of me at the grocery line.  Time to watch football with my husband.  Thank you.  I choose today to look at my    "not working"  as a gift.  Thank you.

Do you see god today?  Do you take the time that is around you?  Even if it is only a minute?  Do you look for god?  I hope so.

May god's smile find you today, may her caress bring you comfort and may her creativity inspire you.  Amen.

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