So, it turn out writing daily didn't go so well. But, I am not going to stop, I will keep trying.
Today I am thankful for my son. He is my first-born. He was longed for and dreamed of for many years. I will never forget hearing those words after hours of labor, "It's a boy!" In that second, my life changed forever. I promised him that I would be the best mom I could be. He and I have a remarkable open relationship. We can talk to each other easily, we get each other. He has had to be patient with me as he made each transition in life. It has been hard for me to let go of each stage. But he has taught me to embrace the future and not live out of fear. I can sit and tell him what I fear, and he will patiently listen and then just hug me. He never makes promises that it won't happen, he just listens and hugs me. Wow! What maturity.
I have always felt bad that he has to be the one to usher in each new transition. Allie has it a bit easier because he has already "broken us in". We are in one of those times now. I am trying to transition to the mother of an adult. Legally, I have no more rights as his parent. He is now out there having to make his own way and reap those rewards and pay those consequences. I still want to shield him. I still want to bring him home under my wing. But that is not what he wants. Nor is it what he needs. He needs me to be here and listen and hug him. Just like he has been teaching me all along. I can't make any promises to him. I can't fix anything for him. But I can be here. I can listen. And you better believe I will hug him. (afterall, he gives the best hugs....some girl one day will be VERY lucky!!)
Stephen, I love you. It is such a privilege to be your mom. You have taught me so very much during your 18 years with me. I know you are going to go on to do so much good in this world. Your loving spirit is needed in our world. As you go, know that I am here. I will listen. And I will hug you. I will not make promises, and I will not try to fix you or the situation. Of course, as in the past, I will probably screw up some, so please be patient and gently remind me again and again.
I love you,
What are you thankful for today?