Since life has served up many curve balls as of late, I have been forced to ponder my life and my state of mind. When each curve ball reached "home plate" I realized that I was dealing with the change with calm and peace which is not my norm. I finally came to the conclusion that this must be from maturity. As I looked over the past decade, I realized again that growing up was a theme. At this point in my life, I finally have enough experiences to help support the fact that (1) God is not going anywhere; (2) Jack is not going anywhere; (3) panicking really doesn't help at all; (4) we can get through tough times; (5) change is not all bad.
I am beginning to see that we really don't enter adulthood until our 30's. At 21 we haven't yet experienced much of anything on our own. I got married at 21. I thought I was pretty adult, and I was technically. But it was the beginning. That was when I started accumulating experiences that helped to shape the adult I am today. Figuring out how to make our small paycheck stretch over a month, having to negotiate a relationship with a man, having a child, having a child almost die, having another child, moving, having all my decisions come back to me and me alone. All of these and many, many more are the experiences that show me that God has been with me all along. She has never left my side. Jack has stayed for the long haul. It hasn't always been easy, but he is not going anywhere. Panic is a barrier to thinking, it does not help me make good decisions. Jack and I have gotten through some really tough times together and we have always come out stronger in the end. Many of the experiences I would have labeled as "bad" have really helped me to grow the most....change is okay.
I know I am not done yet. I still have many more phases in life to go. But it is nice to now know that whatever is out there, I will not be alone and I will be okay.